Defining our terms.

Art is not design.

Design is not art.

These concepts overlap, but they are not synonymous. Were we to create a Venn Diagram, it would illustrate this relationship perfectly.

Oh. Wait. I already did that.:

Before we go any further than this, we need to really define “art”. In this case there’s two definitions we need to be concerned with.

1. To say something beautiful, created by a person or people, is art.

A painting, a sculpture, a piece of music, a photograph, a ballet.  All of these are examples of which we are familiar.  There are many others, of course, but you get the idea.  To say that art is a beautiful thing is common and we know what that means when people say it.

2. To say a physical object, created by a person or people is challenging, describing, informing or otherwise making a social or cultural commentary.

These things may not necessarily be beautiful.  They *CAN* be and often are, but that’s not their primary purpose.  Their purpose is to get people to think about culture, relationships between people,  and society.  I tend to think of these things as “Art” and they are the stuff of which “Art pretension” thrives on.  They’re the sort of things that people stroke their chins over and say “hmm, yes” a lot about.

So having defined that for purposes of this post, I want to talk a little about design.

Design is purpose driven.  When you design a building, the building has a function. When you design a restaurant, that restaurant has a function.  The same thing can be said of anything one *designs*, from a catapult to a coffee machine.  You can design a knitting pattern and make a scarf. You can even use design in the process of making art- I map out a design for each egg that I create, but the finished product is not a design project. It’s a piece of art.  However, if I design someone’s kitchen, that’s a design project, no matter how pretty it is.

All of that brings me to a post that appeared yesterday on Dezeen.  Go have a good look. I’ll wait.

When I first saw this, the post had just gone up, and there were no comments to it yet. When I went back this morning, apparently I’m not the only one who wasn’t pleased. But what really bothers me is that the *supporters* of this work don’t seem to get that fundamentally, THIS IS NOT A DESIGN PROJECT. It’s an ART INSTALLATION.

Frankly, I think it’s a pretty good art installation.  I really mean that. I think that as *ART* (definition #2, though it’s not a bad looking object either) it works quite well. It conveys a clear message and provokes thought about the concepts it addresses.  In that sense, it’s very successful.

As a design project, this FAILS, completely.  It’s not *REALLY* a bookshelf.  It’s not. It’s designed to hold very specific books, intended to make a societal and/or cultural statement.  If you put other books on it, it ruins the intent of the artist (yes, I said it cause it’s not a design project and I’m not going to call it one.) So really, its only purpose is to make that statement, and no other. It does not serve *an actual function* beyond making the cultural statement.  The books, even though they’re being held by the shelf are only there *AS PART* of the overall statement.

It’s NOT DESIGN. It’s ART. I don’t think it’s BAD art, either. But It. Is. Not. Design.

Considering the fact that there are innumerable *DESIGNERS* creating oh, I don’t know, actual design projects that could be featured on what is supposed to be a design blog, the fact that Dezeen doesn’t seem to be too clear on what design is/is not and what art is/is not is… well pretty disappointing (yes, I do have a gift for understatement, why do you ask?)

Come on.  Show some damned design work.

Having re-disposed of the monster, exit our hero, stage left.

Wait. That’s not it. Crap.

I am a twitter early adopter. I’ve had my account significantly longer than the (vast, vast) majority of people I know.  For a long time I had one account, a personal account, and since the day it was created, it’s been locked.

Several years later I created another, public account. However the purpose of that account was to write haiku about my cats. No, really, I mean that.  Look up “cathaiku” on twitter. My favorite is the one about the potato.

Several months ago I added another public account, strictly for my DJ stuff, because it was cluttering up my personal account(I DJ- a lot.).

Several DAYS ago, I realized I needed to add a fourth account, also public, in order to interact with the design/architecture community, when they started finding ME and I had no idea what to do about that. So after flailing around for five or six minutes, I created damnedgoodesign (to put the extra D in puts me over the username limit.) as a solution and so far that seems to be working out well.

Okay, so why am I babbling about twitter here now? Because now, more people in the community are finding that account, and if the stormtroopers learn who the jawas sold the droids to that would lead them back…. home. (yes I know this is not an exact quote, it won’t work in this sentence, you geeks.)

(WAIT LUKE, IT’S TOO DANGEROUS!)

Sorry.

Until now most of the people who regularly read this site are people who know me already in one capacity or another. But now there’s all these new people, who have not been subjected to not yet been introduced to me.  It occurs to me I should make (some sort of) introductory post here, despite the age of this blog, in order to facilitate that, since 140 characters can only tell you so much.  The problem is that like most people, I hate doing these kinds of posts because no matter how much you try to make them simply informative, they always sound kind of obnoxious.

As it says on the “who” tab (I think, I haven’t read the thing in I have no idea how long. It could say I’m an astronaut for all I know)…

My name is Avril Korman and I’m a designer. (no not a web designer, for goodness sake.) I can (and have) designed damned near everything.  My favorite things to design are restaurants, hotels, and furniture.  My least favorite things to design are office spaces.  Everything else falls somewhere in between.

I am *not* a decorator, nor am I an architect  (I was going to do that but currently can’t justify the expense and investement in an M*Arch when up to 40% of the profession is out of work. I’ll pass on having more debt, thanks). Just to make it clear, I’m not a writer either, nor do I play one on TV.

My degrees are in interior design,  restoration/historic preservation, and music.  I’ve been published for design(and art, actually) work several times.  This is a much bigger deal to other people than to me.

Before I was a designer I was a professional artist for nine years.  I still create art, because it still helps pay the bills, mostly in the form of carved eggs.  I also take a lot of photos and I’ve been fortunate enough to have other people like them enough to hang them in galleries in NYC, London and Sydney, and occasionally to pay for one or two. One of my photos was even in Architectural Record once, and that makes me giggle a whole lot since the photo isn’t even of architecture. Before anyone asks, I prefer Nikons to Canons and I use a PC and not a mac. (I actually own no apple products at all- my mp3 player is a creativelabs zen xtra I got in 2003. It works fine.)

I’m a born native of the City of New York. As far as I’m concerned that is the single luckiest thing that has ever happened to me, and NYC has always been my greatest passion. Why yes, I have lived elsewhere (many elsewheres, actually) and have no intention of ever doing it again.

I am deeply, deeply introverted, but not shy in the least.  There is a vast difference between these two concepts.

I also like chess and peas.  (but checkers is easier to play WITH peas.)

Anything else, I expect people will learn as time goes on.  So hello, new people.  Welcome to my wacky little corner of the web. Or something.

Oh. I also like Converse all-stars. A lot.

Virtuawhatnow?

Virtuatecture.

How to start this..

One of the primary reasons (at least in the top two, anyway) I got a Second Life account way back in 2008 was to be able to create designs, that while virtual, could still be used, walked through and (let’s be honest) paid for(this is me, after all- I didn’t suddenly become someone else.).  I wanted to be able to work out potential design problems in 3d space, create walkthroughs and identify trends.  It just took a long time for me to get to the point where I could consistently do that. But this year I seem to have arrived at that place, at least the beginning of it.

There’s a strong architectural community in SL. A lot of RL/SL networking, social interaction, etc.  All of that is a little hard for me.  I’m not exactly the most social individual in the world (stop laughing, all of you. I have a gift of understatement. Shh.)  I’m not much more comfortable at an SL networking party than I am at one in RL.   In SL things can be painfully slow.  The modeling tools are clunky, there’s a steep initial learning curve and most people never make a nickel out of the SL economy, so in that sense I’ve beaten the odds- but it took a long time to get there, and most people wouldn’t bother. On many days I wonder why *I* bother, so I don’t fault anyone else for not wanting to.

But back to Virtuatecture.  See, what virtuatecture ISN’T, is Architecture. I want to make that really, really clear because fundamentally they’re not the same thing. When you remove the laws of physics, problems of sustainability, budget and zoning, but apply other limitations (hello, prim count, primitive manipulation limits and script lag) to how you design/build a thing, that process changes and becomes something else.  It’s all still design process- that doesn’t change, but it’s not Architecture.  Virtuatecture might have some similarities but it’s not the same thing at all, and I’m always mildly shocked when people who design structures in SL call themselves Architects (assuming they’re not architects in meatspace, of course.) Then again, I’m shocked when people who call themselves designers aren’t designers either, but that’s an old rant.

Virtuatecture is the process of creating structures (whatever they may be) in a virtual environment that are going to be used within that environment solely (again, laws of physics will prevent you from porting them out.) I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.  I’ve also been designing a *lot* of furniture lately (I really need to figure out a prototyping solution, seriously.  There’s an ICFF booth calling my name, if I can get that stuff prototyped and con Bethany into manning the booth (you didn’t think it would be me, right?)

Anyway, back to virtuatecture. What’s also interesting, besides the creation/design process of it all, is watching what people want to *buy*.  Witnessing the trends of what people want, what sells and what doesn’t sell is really interesting.  I don’t think I have nearly enough raw data yet to draw realistic or sound conclusions, but that will come in time.  It’s also interesting (maybe) to note that the house *I* live in in SL, is a warehouse loft with a watertower on top.  Even with anything in all the realms of imagination to choose from, I will always go for that.

Since the beginning of this year, I and my building partner (I do the designs, he does the builds) have released one house a week.  For those unfamiliar with time frames in SL, that’s a *brutal* schedule.  Really, truly brutal.  So much so that if we can keep it up for an entire year, we would have more different house designs than almost anyone on the grid, and most people who create houses have been doing it for much longer.  This doesn’t include all the design/build work we do for specialized club venues, which happen at a rate of about 3 per month on average.  It’s a blistering pace.

What we’ve stayed away from (and will continue to stay away from except for one-off custom structures) are building things like enormous castles, which are ubiquitous within the SL environment and frankly bore me to *tears*. My issue with the things other than the tedium of them is about ego and prim limits.  For those who just got confused- on every (full) sim in SL you are allotted 15000 “parts” with which to create objects, called primitives.  The demand for these huge (have I mentioned boring?) castles is staggering.  But the issues begin when you try to FILL them.  There’s no real way to fill the things up without blowing your prim count, so what they are most of the time are big empty warehouses, serving no purpose but to look imposing and impressive. They’re a facade of ego, and nothing more.  I can’t be bothered- I’d rather build houses people live in. They may be much smaller, but you can actually fill them with things and they don’t feel barren.  They’re just like houses (except you know, kitchens don’t translate well, and you have no need for closets.)

So far, Ive found the process to be really good for keeping my design muscles flexible- design process is design process no matter the thing in question.  So here’s some of the houses done so far.

Yes, all the houses have interiors too, don’t be silly.

So that’s part of what I’ve been up to lately.

New year, new designs.

Happy 2010 to one and all. Hopefully this decade is better than the last.  Granted, that wouldn’t take much. But you know, small victories.

In any case,  now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I have a bunch of new designs that I’ve been working on.  Furniture designs, egg designs, even house and club designs.  So lots and lots of new stuff. I’ve set myself a pretty brutal design pace- I’m working off of about six different spreadsheets.  We’ll see how long I can keep the pace up, but for the moment I’m designing pretty regularly.  But since I don’t want to blow everything in one post, let’s take stuff one area at a time.

Eggs.

It’s my goal this year to create 52 of these suckers.  So far I’m doing well- two are already done, and I will be starting the next one in the next couple days.   Granted, they’re fundamentally useless little objects, fragile and strange, but they are pretty, and though I’ve gotten significantly better at making them, it’s still not exactly easy.  I’m hoping to stock up on blank eggs while the current winter cold lasts. Cold temperatures lead to thicker eggs (yep, true!) and thicker eggs are easier to work with. It sure would be good to be able to have a backstock of empty winter eggs come July, because in summer the shells get very thin and it’s difficult to get one carved up properly on the first try.

So, the first two eggs of the year:

This one was done as a commission won at a charity auction.  I try to donate my time/skills to various charities when I can.  I have another charity egg coming up soon, actually (it’s 3 eggs away on my list, such as it is.)  This one is going to be winging (ha) its way off to its new home in the Netherlands.

And the second one:

This one was the result of a happy accident. When dealing with eggs, few accidents are actually happy but this one worked out pretty well.  The egg had come out of the dye bath and wasn’t quite dry enough when I put a coat of  sealant on it.  That is, it was dry to the touch but not really dry.  Anyone who has had the experience of putting sealant down on a not quite dry surface can tell you what happened next- the finish crackled like a crackling thing, and the dye layer began to flake off like little blue snowflakes.

However the resulting effect was really interesting, so when it fully dried I sealed it in with another layer of sealant and went to work with my paints.

Overall, I was pretty happy with the result, since it had a bunch of visual/textural qualities that really worked well together.  It’s becoming clear though I need to order some new diamond cone files- this one is wearing in an uneven pattern, and surely by summer I’ll need to restock on microbits.  But I think I can hang on for a little while yet. I’m hoping to get another dozen eggs out of the way before I have to do that. We’ll see.

The blue egg is going to be headed to its new home in New Jersey (a substantially shorter commute than the other one) this weekend.  My post office still sucks, btw. This year is the year I buy a postal scale and make them pick things up at my house so I never have to go down there again. Seriously, I mean it.

Interestingly, I still haven’t designed the furniture that inspired the eggs in the first place. It’s still in my head though, so I’ll get to it.  I HAVE designed a bunch of other furniture so far this year, so I’ll start talking about that in my next post.

Finals week is exhausting, and I’m not even in school.

This week is finals week for design/architecture schools in NYC, apparently.

Yesterday, I was on the Pratt jury for their ID finals.
Tomorrow and Friday are FIT thesis projects. I’ve been asked to jury those too.
Monday is the CCNY 3rd year architecture finals. I’ve been asked to jury those, too.

Fortunately, I’d seen half the projects I helped critique yesterday at midterm.  I had not seen the other half, as at midterm, the critics were split into two groups, each seeing half the total projects.  But yesterday, though the plan was to split the critics/projects in half again, only 3 of the 6 jurors showed, forcing a double packed day.

I was very pleased to see significant improvement in the projects I’d seen at midterm. Ultimately, those were all very successful.  Unfortunately, it seemed the ones that my group hadn’t seen at midterm were the less successful of the two groups, though surely there were some winners in that group also.  There were, thankfully, no disasters0 all the projects ranged from decent, to outstanding.

The jurying process though is really exhausting. I’d had less than an hour’s sleep going into it, and the 14 hour day did not help.  Fortunately, I was able to stumble in, put all the electronics on their various chargers, and pass out.

Today I’m trying to do all the stuff I didn’t do yesterday.  Also, expect another egg post soon.

Furniture Project part 8: The finish and the finish.

I know this has been a very long time in coming.  In truth, the cabinet was finished before Gothmas, but until recently it had things sitting on top of it, preventing me from getting good photos of it conveniently as a finished product. Then when I finally did get photos, I was also working on eggs(still doing that, btw) and  this post loomed in the back of my mind.

But I’d like to finish it up, so here goes.

When last we left the cabinet, I was babbling on about perfection and how ultimately boring it is.

I had finished all the mosaic work and the only thing really left was to put finish coats on it.  This is where I get frustrated and threaten to shave all the cats.  But assuming you can manage to do this without losing your sanity, here’s how it goes.  I’m only going to show you how this works on one side of the cabinet, because it’s the same process for all of them.

So first off, the cabinet’s been rotated a number of times while it was worked on.  It’s been handled, touched, jumped on by cats and generally abused throughout this entire recycling process.  So it needs some touchups.

Ok, with me now? You can see from these various shots that there were areas where the stain needed to be fixed up.  Not difficult to understand.  But before I can do that I need to get all the accumulated dust, cat hair and other random detritus off of the surface I’m about to work on.  That takes a tack rag.

For those who don’t know what a tack rag is, it’s a piece of cheesecloth (lint-free, yo.) that has been impregnated with a small amount of finish (usually a very, very weak spit coat of shellac/alcohol or poly/thinner) so it’s just sticky.  You run it over the surface of your piece and the dust and other assorted crap stick to the surface of the rag.  You can make them yourself. It’s really easy.  Frankly, I find it also really easy to grab one for 79 cents, too, which is what I did. You open it up, wad it into a loose ball and gently go to town on the surface.  If an area gets full, rewad, and find a cleaner spot.

It’s a lot better looking once it’s clean, even when you haven’t done anything else to it. You can see how much ick and overstain comes off onto the rag.

Once that’s accomplished(and don’t wait too long cause it will only get covered in crap again…) I touched up the areas that needed more stain with a small brush. Fortunately, I’m not too invested in how even the stain coat is.

Let it dry as you would with any other stain coat. Once it’s dry enough to finish over, you need to decide what kind of finish you’re going to put on your piece.  This is not always an easy choice, and I’m going to divert here to explain that.

Folks, not everything in the world needs to be covered in polyurethane.  As happens *THIS* piece is, but again, there’s choices to be made here.  However this is something you should understand, and I will put it in big, bold letters:

Do not cover fine furniture in polyurethane.

Do not cover fine furniture in polyurethane.

Do not cover fine furniture in polyurethane.

Repeat as necessary.  Polyurethane is a lovely thing. However it’s not a reversible thing, and as such it’s NOT SUITABLE for fine antiques.  Polyurethane has problems. There is no way to repair it if the finish breaks. It’s impossible to actually remove.  It’s problematic and if you bring your fine piece in later for repair the restorers will give you That Look, and for good reason, since you’ve largely handed them Mission Impossible.  Polyurethane is a cheap, all purpose coating that is very hard wearing. But it’s not, not, not to be used for fine furniture.  Fine furniture does quite well with shellac and a bit of wax for protection, or a natural varnish or other resin finish.  Those things are reversible and repairable.  Poly? Forget it.

THIS piece is covered in poly because it’s from fucking IKEA and made of MDF. I got it for *free* and cats are going to leap all over the damned thing.  THAT is why *this* piece has poly on it.  However my good carved 1918 chair in the back room?  Wax.   With me now?

Great.

But you still have to decide how shiny you want your piece to be, no matter what you use. Matte? Semi-gloss? Gloss?  A gloss like a bowling alley in the sun?  I chose the latter, because most of the room it’s in is at best a combination of dead matte and a light gloss (the walls are venetian plaster, but they only have light wax- they’re not really glossy) The floor is a semi gloss.  The ceilings and floors are *black*, and on its best day this room doesn’t get a ton of light.  (in the winter it’s ridiculous since the windows face west, it may as well be a cave.).  So anything that will reflect light around the room a little? That works for me.

I used a foam brush (no brushmarks) to apply a first coat of finish.  It’s not very impressive looking afterward, honestly.

Ok big deal.  That’s one coat down.  Four zillion to go. But what is important is what happens between the coats.   See, your furniture has flaws. It’s not dead level. You’ll have missed spots.  It looks like HELL and now you can see just how uneven it all is, because the light bounces off the surface differently highlighting each one.

That’s okay. That’s why we have 400 grit silicon carbide wet/dry sandpaper to the rescue.  Also, apparently, a pink plastic cup of water.

The whole thing with using wet paper is that there should be a “suction” that happens where the paper meets the surface that keeps the paper flat.  Remember to rinse off your paper often to unclog it. Now, I’m trying to eliminate anything resembling grain, so I’m using an orbital sanding motion.  Don’t worry about the water on the surface.  It’s going to show you something important in just a few moments.

What you’ll start to see is where your high spots are, because they will now be matte.  Your low spots will still be glossy.  Ideally, the entire surface will be the same. But that doesn’t really happen on the first coat of finish.  You’re trying to cut the high areas, and build up the low ones.  Since I have no grain to care about , I can use an orbital sanding  pattern, which you can see in the photos.  Folks, don’t use an orbital pattern on bare wood- go with the grain.  Finish coats COVER grain- you’re trying to make a flat surface, which is the critical difference.

What will also happen is a white residue will appear on the surface. Don’t panic, that’s supposed to happen. It’s the powdered finish you’ve removed, mixed with the water on the paper to make a paste. It will come off with a tack rag. Promise.

Speaking of tack rags,  use yours and clean this mess up again. Now it looks like piebald shit. Great. You’re by now cursing my name and wondering why you listened to me.  Patience, padawan.

What comes next is a whole lot of lather, rinse, repeat.  Same steps over and over. What is important to know though is to brush your finish on *in the opposite direction* from whichever way you started.  So if you went the long way the first time? Go the short way the second.  All your odd numbered coats go one way, and all your evens the other.  You are trying to avoid ridges and get an even coat.  Generally one uses an odd number of coats.  Normally 3 will do it, but it really, really depeneds on the piece, because again, ideally, as you’re sanding the last between coat your piece should be a uniform gray all over, indicating a flat surface.  You can tell when you’re getting close. Once that happens, switch to a 600 grit paper rather than a 400.  If you really want to have a glass finish, go to a 1200 after that. I don’t need to for a piece like this. 600 was as far as I got.   But as to the whole lather, rinse, repeat thing:

With each coat you’ll see a more uniform surface. But it takes a while to get there.

You can see here, after several coats, that the finish is starting to become much more level and even.

In the end, though, it’s really about where you say “Okay, good enough.”  Which for me, was here:

Once the top was finally done, I put on a coat of wax. Honestly? It’s plain old garden variety Turtle Wax, like the kind you’d use on your car.  Works just fine.  I waxed the top because it gets foot traffic from the cats and needs more protection. I wax it whenever I can feel it starting to tack up as I dust(if you’ve ever gone bowling regularly, you know when this point is, because you get stuck and practically kill yourself as you try to release the ball when your shoes stop and the rest of you keeps moving.)

So, this is it:

To remind everyone where this piece started…

And now, it looks like this:

So that wraps this one up.

What’s next? I have a table design I need to work out, I’m still working on eggs, and I am also trying to get a built in bookcase ready for finishing.

That should keep me busy a while.

Eggsperimental.

Where have I been?

No, I don’t want to talk about that.

What happened to the cabinet?

Finished. Been finished since before Gothmas, but don’t have photos yet because there’e still Gothmas decorations sitting on it (I need another box.)

What else has happened?

My cats (specifically Rupert and Rerun, but mostly Rupert) destroyed my original, not reproduction, not reiussue from Herman Miller, ORIGINAL, with original glass, Noguchi coffee table.

What the hell do you mean, “destroyed”?

Does that help answer the question?

Can you fix it?

Sort of.  I can repair the base. I do have a degree in Restoration that might be worth something other than cheap paper. But the glass (which I’m still finding in my floor weeks later) is obviously gone (I saved one chunk for posterity.) I can get an authorized reissue piece of glass from Herman Miller but it ain’t cheap and you know, it will be precisely correct dimension wise( sorry but the knockoff pieces *aren’t.*  I’ve lived with an original for a long, long time- I can spot a knockoff Noguchi table every time), but it still won’t be the original glass. Yes, I know no one will know but me. But I’ll still know.  Not ready to tackle that one yet.

What are you working on now?

Apparently, carving eggs. I saw an article a few months ago about this. Figured I’d give it a shot.  It’s not easy and it does take practice.  You do have some spectacular failures before you get any success. Most people tend to use larger eggs. Goose, duck, Emu, and Ostrich, since all of them are a) larger than chicken eggs and b) more sturdy than chicken eggs. It ain’t easy to crack an ostrich egg, let me tell you.  My approach was the “New York, New York” method. I figured if I could manage to get a handle on how chicken eggs carved up, I could do any kind of egg I wanted.

Of course my *perfect for this application* box of micro drill bits, which is DEFINITELY in this house because I see it *every time I don’t need it* decided to disappear now that I *do* need it, my tools were limited.  More/different tools probably would have led to earlier successes. Fortunately, there’s no shortage on eggs. (and no, none of the eggs were wasted- they were all used)

So by now some people are wondering how in the hell one carves an eggshell.  Maybe. I mean, if I’m lucky. I suppose the answer is “carefully.” But as a step by step process? Not that complicated.

1. Choose an egg.

This sounds easy but after you’ve screwed this up a few times? You get a feel for which eggs will work better.  The thicker the shell the easier it will be to work with without destroying after you’ve sunk four hours into it.  With more practice of course, you can go for more delicate and fragile shells.  How can you tell? Easiest way I’ve found is to simply hold them up to the light and see which ones you can see through the least.   I found that brown eggs were easier to screw up than white eggs, though realistically this could just be a matter of practice. Also, I don’t like brown, so take that as you will.   But you start to notice that though eggs are in general, egg shaped (or we’d call them something else) that there’s a great variety within that and you’re right away having to make aesthetic decisions about “what shape will work best.”  I suggest that your criteria start with “not broken.”

2. Great, so I have an egg. Now what?

Well now, we have to get the inside of the egg outside without crushing the shell.  My first attempts were seriously low-fi.  I used a safety pin.  While it’s possible to actually do this? Far more often? This is the result:

Again, you *CAN* get the egg out, but seriously, it’s a pain in the ass and unless you’re secretly Dizzy Gillespie, your cheeks get tired too.  So, screw the low fi method.  I broke out the machinery. In particular, my trusty flexible shaft machine (which as you will recall from many previous posts, is not a sex toy.)  As mentioned previously, my wonderful and fantastic array of micro drill bits has gone missing. However all was not lost, as I do have some tools to play with. In this case, a box of #52 carbide micro drill bits. ( For those who like engineering porn, the bits are .0635s)In short, they are wee. How wee?

Punch a hole in the top and bottom of the egg. FINDING the precise top and bottom is not unlike finding the north and south pole. I suggest “wing it, it’s close enough.”   I then went back in and made the hole on the bottom slightly larger using a micro cone diamond point file(if you follow this link it’s the one on the far left.). Then you go back and blow the inside of the egg out into a bowl.  It helps if you shake the egg every so often to break the yolk.    I then rinse the inside of the egg, but don’t make yourself nuts- it’s hard to get in there yet.    Let it dry.

3.  Then mostly it’s about going to town with micro sized tools, a flex shaft (or dremel) and lots of practice. I just sketched on the egg in pencil and went to town.  There were lots of failures. (eight, to be exact, at various stages.)

4. But what about that icky membrane on the inside?

As you can see in the last photo, there isn’t one, but you can see it on all the others. Where did it go? How did I remove it? HOW SMALL WERE THE TWEEZERS?

Nope. No tweezers(I tried that. Doesn’t work well, btw.).  ORGANIC CHEMISTRY! SCIENCE!  CUE THOMAS DOLBY!

*boo doo doododo boo do doodoodo doo doo. boodoo. doo.* (this makes perfect sense if you’ve cued the Thomas Dolby properly.)

No, what you need is the exact opposite of what you need to color Easter eggs.  Easter eggs take color because the dye is combined with acid- generally vinegar. This makes eggshells softer and increases their porosity.  Color goes in, color stays in.   But egg *SHELLS* are not the same thing as the membrane on the inside of the egg. That’s just pure protein.  And what eats protein? Not acids, but bases.

Screw the science lesson- get a glass jar with a tight fitting lid(I used one of Stacy’s former jam jars) pour some bleach into it and carefully place the egg in.  Put the cap back on and watch science go to work.  20 minutes, half hour later? Carefully remove the eggshell and rinse in a water bath til it stops smelling like your white wash.

5. But how did you get those circles so ROUND?

They aren’t. But if you’re asking how I did the touch up work to make them MORE round, I sketched out where they needed to be fixed, and used my cone file on a low speed.  If I were using a thicker egg, like emu or ostrich, high speeds are better because they produce more power and more torque.  But chicken eggs disintegrate under that kind of pressure, so low speed, very slowly, being careful and patient.  I’d mark off each hole that I’d “fixed” with a pencil.  After that, I just used plain soap and water (dish soap) and cleaned the pencil marks off.   Finally,  I let the whole thing dry.  Once it sits overnight you can clearly see the proteins the bleach didn’t get the first time because they will have oxidized and turned golden brown against the otherwise white shell.  Back into the bleach for you!  Just let it sit there for a couple hours to remove any remaining residue, and then rinse carefully.

6. So why did you do all of this?

Honestly? Cause spring is coming and some people collect eggs. If anyone wants to buy one, let me know. I’ve already been asked about black ones(doable).  I can also do gilded ones (silver and gold) as well.  I was thinking of trying squares, too.  But I  can only make like… Three, before I run out of places to put them(and Rupert destroys them) here so it’s mostly going to be a “by commission” thing.  However if you want one, let me know! I can certainly do larger ones as well.

Got it? Eggcellent.

Furniture project part 7: The pursuit of perfection.

So here’s the thing.

I finished the top of the case a couple weeks ago. The only thing I have to do now is the finishing part and putting it all back together. I haven’t yet because I need a tack rag (which I know yes, I can make myself..) and I need a couple of foam brushes (no brushmarks, yo.). But I’ll get to that. What I wanted to talk about really, is this point. This point in any project where all that’s left is the finishing. and once the finish goes on, you’re kinda stuck with what’s underneath it. So you’re looking over your project and NOW, this moment, is the one where you’re looking at it with a super critical eye to see if there’s anything you should do over again. You’re looking for something that needs fixing. You’re looking for flaws.

Don’t get me wrong. There are times when things really should be flawless. Those times certainly exist. If you’re making a new piece of furniture, custom, from scratch, for sale. Flawless is good. But recycled furniture is not about flawless(neither, btw is restoration.) It’s just as much an art project as a design project, if not more so. You need to be able to see those flaws, own them, and for the most part, unless they’re minor touchups, be able to let them go.

This is really, really hard for some people- self included, though it’s even harder for people who are very detail oriented. They get lost in the bark of the tree, when the forest is all around them waiting for them to get on with and over themselves.

“Oh SURE, it’s easy to say that- it’s not your project with all these errors and mistakes in it… You’re a professional!”

But it is. And I am. And I’m going to prove it.

So we have this project, right? You’ve watched as it’s slowly come together over the summer. Okay, great. And now we’re at this moment. The one before the finish, where if you’re going to fix something, now is the time. Other than minor touchups? I’m not fixing the following things:

I’m not fixing the fact that this mosaic circle is cup shaped, when it should be flat. This is the result of the chisel not being sharp enough.

I’m not fixing the fact that this “circle” is supposed to be round, and isn’t. (see: chisel.)

I’m not fixing the evenness of the grout on the right top quadrant of this circle.

I’m not fixing the fact that this circle isn’t flat.

There’s nothing wrong with this one. Actually, it’s near perfect, which illustrates how imperfect those others are.

I’m not fixing the fact that the purple circles are splotchy, and the black is darker and less painterly than I’d like.

I’m not fixing the fact that that drawer up there? Looks different than the door front below:

Or that this side:

Is not like that side:

Because perfection simply isn’t necessary here. Flawless isn’t really important (though I would love to get a flawless *FINISH* on these, I know better. I have cats.)

So I’m going to get some brushes and a tack rag and forgive this piece (and its maker) their flaws. No one else was ever going to care about them anyway.

Furniture project part 6.4- top’s done.

4th verse, same as the first.

Mosaics are done, purple polka dots filled in.

Same thing, different angle.

First coat of black goes on around the spots.

Same thing, different angle.

Again, same thing, different angle.

Top, finished. There’s a lack of light here, so the black looks a little more solid and uniform than it is.

Same thing, different angle.

Same thing, different angle.

So now, all that’s left is the finishing/putting back together part. I’ve decided to use a high-gloss polyurethane. I could use shellac but since it’s alcohol based I decided against it- if someone spills their drink on the thing my finish needs to be seriously fixed. I could use lacquer, which would match my coffee table, but I really, *really* hate working with lacquer. It’s toxic as shit, and the fumes are miserable. Even worse is lacquer *thinner*, which obviously, you need to use as well. It’s not fine furniture, so I’m not going to use another resin based finish. Poly will do fine. I can throw three coats on, finish it out with some pumice and rottenstone, and wax the bad boy up like a bowling alley.

Oh well that explains that.

“due to a large volume of high-quality entries the jury has yet to make its final decision.
results are now expected to be announced between august 10 – 15, 2008″

I had been wondering what had happened to the Crystal Vision contest results.  I know they got over 4,000 entries (I think it was 4072) so realistically, odds are even longer than usual on winning, but I think I had a good idea going on, so we’ll see.

In the meantime there’s been a new contest announced in partnership with Altec Lansing that I’m considering.  I like the speakers part, not quite as keen on the way they’ve worded the headset part.  It sounds too much like “how do we market headsets to the SATC crowd” when really I want nothing to do with catering to them in the first place. I’ll get over it and bug some jewelry designers to see if they have anything inspiring to say.  But I like competitions like this. Keeps you thinking.

Still mosaicing the top of the cabinet btw. Needed to run down and get a couple colors I ran out of yesterday.  But I should be done with the top by the end of the week, in theory.